Relationships – Expectations and the Pressure to Conform

The modern society is complex and contradictory in many ways, particularly in the dynamics of romantic relationships. Nowadays, we are witnessing a situation where some women are forced into the role of the dragon lady, while men often struggle with feelings of being a garden gnome. These forced roles not only burden the relationship between the parties but also generally affect emotional well-being. According to psychologist Péter Aszalós, there are deeper social and psychological reasons behind this phenomenon.

Men’s uncertainty and the erosion of traditional male roles contribute to the tensions that develop in relationships. Relationship dependency, the competition for pampering, and different personality types all play key roles in this process. Self-awareness work and understanding relationship dynamics are essential for the parties to establish healthier relationships.

Relationship Dependency and Its Consequences

The concept of relationship dependency has become increasingly common today, yet many do not fully understand what it entails. When someone makes their own decisions and actions dependent on the opinions and consent of the other party, there are clear signs of relationship dependency. This situation is often frustrating for both parties, as underlying tensions exist behind the apparent harmony.

Women who desire a strong and confident partner often feel disappointed when the man they are with requires more support. The continuous reinforcement of self-confidence in the relationship becomes an additional burden for women, which can lead to dissatisfaction in the long run. Suppressing frustration often leads to tension and even resentment, which can deteriorate the relationship.

Thus, relationship dependency has a destructive impact not only on an individual level but also on the overall relationships. The lack of communication and mutual support between the parties can have serious consequences; therefore, it is important for partners to consciously work on their relationship and not let their self-esteem depend on another person.

The Crisis of Male Self-Esteem

Men’s self-esteem has entered a crisis in today’s society in several ways. Traditional male roles, which once brought respect and recognition, have now eroded. With the spread of the dual-income model, men’s authority has diminished, and the social prestige of work has significantly declined.

In the modern world, money and external success have become the measures of value, pushing genuine performance and values into the background. Recognition, which once served as a reward for well-done work, now comes much less frequently. This situation negatively affects men’s self-esteem, as meeting societal expectations becomes increasingly challenging.

Men increasingly feel lost and often do not know how to find their place in society. In relationships, this uncertainty breeds tensions that further exacerbate the situation. To restore self-esteem, it is vital for men to learn how to be autonomous individuals who do not solely rely on their relationship for their self-worth.

Relationship Dynamics and Personality Types

The dynamics observable in relationships and the personality types within them have different effects on the relationship. Two characteristic personality types are the passive and the active personality. Passive personalities often avoid confrontation, submit, and typically struggle with emotional issues, while active personalities tend to confront, even if it is not always apparent.

The encounter of these two types often creates tensions, as the passive partner increasingly withdraws while the active partner generates tension. How these personalities react to each other plays a key role in the dynamics of the relationship. If the two parties do not pay attention to each other’s needs and feelings, the relationship can easily begin to deteriorate.

Childhood patterns also influence the development of relationships. Men who encountered weak, uncertain paternal figures often hide behind the skirts of women, delaying their process of becoming adults. Although mothers’ emotional over-support may be well-intentioned, it can hinder men’s independence.

Social patterns, such as initiation rituals observed in primitive African tribes that separate boys from their mothers, aid in the transition to adulthood. In contrast, in Western societies, young people often continue to live in their parental homes, delaying their preparation for adult life. Conflicts and tensions arising from such situations are common in relationships, and it is important for the parties to consciously work on improving their situation.

The Disappearance of the Rose-Colored Glasses

The problems occurring in relationships are not new; similar situations have been observed in the past. However, unlike previous generations, divorce is no longer taboo today, allowing couples to exit dysfunctional relationships more easily. Nevertheless, poor partner selection remains a problem, often stemming from an excessive idealization of the myth of love.

The rose-colored glasses that characterize the beginning of a relationship eventually fade, and parties often find themselves facing the reality that the other is not who they thought. This disappointment often leads to tensions and conflicts, which can result in the deterioration of the relationship. Experts suggest that the best way to avoid tragedies is through the maturation of adult personalities.

The source of happiness lies not only in the relationship but much more in inner security and autonomy. In healthy relationships, partners are capable of managing their own shortcomings and do not shift responsibility onto each other. A union between two free and adult personalities can ensure true happiness and satisfaction in the relationship.